5 Pieces Of Advice You’ll Get After A Breakup That Are Total Garbage

By: Mihran Kalaydjian, CHA


Make a list of your partner’s pros and cons

After my break up I searched the web high and low for some advice that would soothe my aching heart. This advice came up the most. I was suppose to make a list of my ex boyfriend’s pros and cons and I would eventually see that the cons outweighed the pros. A very methodical approach that doesn’t suit someone as emotionally inclined as me. As soon as I began to make my list I tore it up and threw it away. In my state of heartbreak I was so focused on all his good attributes I would be missing that I couldn’t come up with any bad ones. Instead of making a list of your ex’s pros and cons make a list of all your pros. A break up is very damaging to one’s self-esteem. You just spent a good portion of your time loving someone only to find out that it wasn’t good enough. You need this time to start falling in love with yourself again and bring all your good qualities to life. If you can’t get yourself to make the list then invite a good friend over and ask them to write a list for you.

2. Delete their number

Sure, go ahead and delete their number. That won’t stop you from finding it again. In this day and age deleting someone’s number from your phone doesn’t mean deleting it out of your life. You can still get their number from your phone bill, the contacts that you synced to your laptop, and even Facebook. If you really want to keep yourself from texting them than make a promise to yourself that you won’t and then save their number under the contact name “You Promised Yourself.” I know how cheesy this sounds. But it really works. This way when they text you, and they will text you, their name won’t appear but the constant reminder that you promised yourself it was over and that you are sticking to your decision!

3. Delete all their pictures on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Facebook and Instagram are your life in pictures. As bad as the break up is you don’t want to delete them out of your past because you can’t. The truth of the matter is that they will forever be a part of your past. Instead, leave their pictures and posts up as a reminder that you once loved and that it didn’t workout but that you will love again. This might be hard for the first couple of weeks or even months. You can set the privacy settings to hide it from your Facebook timeline for a while. I even encourage you to deactivate your Facebook and Twitter for a short time and stay away from any kind of social media that might remind you of them. Don’t worry this is just temporary.

4. Don’t be angry

This is total garbage. Be angry. Be mad as hell! After all you gave this person some of the best times of your life and they made promises they never kept. You have the right to be angry. Just don’t go over board. A break up is tough. You have to go through all of the stages of grief, including anger. The sooner you get it out of your system the better. But remember to be mad at them and not yourself. Also a note of caution don’t be so mad you decide to do totally immature things like slash their tires or put them on blast on your Twitter and Facebook. If there is one thing that I am thankful for was the fact that I handled the breakup with grace and was still able to keep my head high.

5. They are just one out of a million

This statement is not just a cliché but it is also exactly what you don’t want to start doing after a breakup; think about other people. After a breakup and especially a bad one, your next steps is not to blindly fall into the next relationship that comes knocking at your door in hopes of trying to forget the last one. You will only end up crashing and burning, and you will take that other person down with you. Maybe you are just looking for a rebound and someone to remind you that you are likeable? Think about how selfish and unkind that is to that other person who might be seriously interested (yes, I am asking you to think about other people in your time of sorrow). Word of advice; figure yourself out first. Give yourself enough time, depending on how long the relationship lasted, before even attempting to go out on a date. You need to be able to put the past behind you, including all the trust issues you have accumulated, and move forward looking for a fresh start. (Note: This is not to say that you should hole yourself up inside your house blasting the most depressing love songs you can find. You should still go out and enjoy yourself just stay away from the dating scene for a while.)

Love is a dangerous game. Play wisely.